The Glass is Half Empty…

My favorite bar is LoveJoys on Sixth and Neches in Austin. Here are a few of the reasons.

I like the restroom to be clean.I don’t care if there’s graffiti on the walls or a nice paint job or whatever. I just want the floor to be clean, no piss on the toilette seat and not having to piss into a trough is always a plus. If I have to take a shit, I want at MINIMUM a stall that locks if not a whole bathroom with a locking door.

Decently priced drinks. LoveJoys has house brewed beer on tap that is decently priced.

Selection. I’m not interested in a crappy selection of Bud, Coors, Michelobe, Lonestar. If that’s all they have, it better be dirt cheap and there better be another reason to be there. In a little town North East of Taylor called Thorndale, where I’m from originally, there’s a little watering hole called “Steves Place”. They’ve got cans of beer for a buck fifty a piece and bottles are a buck seventy five. You get your beer handed to you in a coozie and there’s good burgers cooked personally by the owner. Between that and the porn on the bathroom walls and the wood stove kicking heat in the winter, that place has enough flavor to make up for the crappy beer selection.

Friendly bar staff. If I’m handing you money and you want a tip, I don’t want any attitude. You don’t have to kiss my ass, but don’t act like your shit doesn’t stink.

Friendly patrons. I don’t want to hang out with people who aren’t happy to see me. If the place is filled with rude assholes, guess what? I’m finding another place to party.

A juke box with a decent selection. I get so bored with the selection on so many jukes. Most of them look like they haven’t been changed in 20 years. It’s not that the Doors, Zeppelin, and Hendrix are bad bands- It’s that they’re on every fucking juke box everywhere. For the sake of all that is holy! Be creative! Put something in there I might not have heard 3 million times before.

Some cool artwork on the walls can really break up the monotony of a place. It’s cool when places support local artists too.

Activities are cool too. Especially if they’re free. Pool (on tables that are well maintained), darts, pinball. These are all good things.

It’s also cool if there are regularly scheduled tournaments. Poker night. Dominos. Whatever. Cool.

Hope you enjoyed.

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